Wednesday, 12 February 2014

It's not linear

Grief is not linear. We often say things to grieving people like ‘it will get easier with time’ but this is not really true. In the moment it arises, grief is always full-bodied and intense, and as real as the first moment of grief. It passes, and over time the periods between the moments of grief do indeed increase. I now think of my father only occasionally: when someone reminds me of him, or I hear coins jingling in a pocket being turned over and over as was his habit. Tonight I took a photo of this blanket for my blipfoto and it gave rise to a strong pang for the loss of my mother-in-law who made the blanket. The pangs of grief are ambiguous – pleasure for the memory and pain for the loss. They should neither be indulged or denied. They are simply a part of being human.

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